Thursday, August 09, 2007
been doing lotsa tinking..
abt us...
i mean..
the more i m alone, i tend to tink wat have happen..
one minute cold.. next minute hot..
i duno wat is going on..
bt wat i noe..
it will drive me nuts...
i realli dunno wat to do..
i wanted to plan a day of activity for us..
bt i didnt...
i realli hope u tell me d truth..
wat are we??
i noe we both are bz..
i mean to tis extend..
before it wasnt even like tis..
even wen we were not together..
we spend more time together compared to wat we are doing now..
u hardly sms me or call me nowadays..
m i being paranoid..
or it is my reality??
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;
Sunday, August 05, 2007
hu m i kidding..
do u tink i m happy nw??
or better still...
m i happy??
lotsa tings have happened in juz a blink of an eye..
i feel i got no reason to live...
wat m i living for?
i mean..
even my bf cld sense sumting is wrong with me...
bt i juz cant say it out..
truthfully...
i was at the brink of breakdown yest at d beach...
bt i control myself..
i told myself no point breaking down again..
tis is life...
bt i juz cant help tinking..
work is going to be a big hurdle again..
my boss left..
i hate him for doing tt..
bt of course i respect his decision..
my life is nvr straight..
in fact..
i dunno wat m i doing..
today...
i didnt go out..
i sat at hm n start pondering..
i realli dunno wat to do...
i dun want him to worry abt me..
sometimes i feel i m not worthy of him..
seriously...
wld any normal guy nt meet up with d gf for almost a mth...
i noe he contacts other gals..
tt is very normal..
bt i juz have tis sense of insecurity abt it..
somehow i feel he gt other gals behind me...
i mean..
i dun blame him at all...
bt..
wen i was with him yest...
d whole atmosphere was diff...
i cant describe it..
normally we wld be out even without either party asking..
bt nw..
its like....
i dunno...
shld i talk to him..
like wat he say is true..
i keep everything within myself..
its like keeping water in a bottle....
once filled to the brink..
water will start overflowing...
the bottle in me is already overflowing..
i realli dunno wat to do..
all i wanna do is cry...
cry...cry....cry...
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;